Single Girl-itis





Are you a real life Tinderella?! Can I be a real life Tinderella?!

Its been over a year since graduating college and the biggest wall I’ve hit post grad is that I really should have locked down a solid boyf in my college days. Today, I work in a female dominated industry (stating a fact, not complaining), I could count my close friends in California on one hand and my roommates are my parents. So naturally I am meeting and attracting a great amount of potential suiters… *insert eye roll here*

I obviously did what any aggressively single 23 year old in 2018 would do and resort to online dating. :))))) It’s going great. The o n l y reason I am still torturing myself is because my best friend, Mar met the love of her life on Tinder and I still have an ounce of hope. Yes, a real life Tinderella. I am taking you on an exclusive ride of your life through my MANY amazing experiences online dating from HILARIOUSLY uncomfortable DMs to borderline stalkers. Buckle the hell up.

Douchebag #6: Jack

I strongly believe we don’t give males enough credit.

Douchebag #5: Nicholas


LITERALLY my biggest fear in life… no I’m not ok with that!!!! I don’t do feet.

Douchebag #4: Scot


Gotta respect a guy who doesn’t waste any time. Amirite ladies.

Douchebag #3: Kyle the classy cop.


Douchebag #2: Brad aka dreamy MCdouchelord

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Needless to say I did not respond.

Douchebag #1: Jordan maybe Steve or maybe he’s a murderer


I would like to start by saying yes, I am aware his name is Jordan and it was doomed from day one. Everyone meet Jordan, a 26 year old PHX police officer.


May 2017-Jan 2018

Biggest red flags:

-Worked Wednesday-Saturday overnights. Could strictly ONLY hangout Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday at night because his sleep schedule was messed up. (Bullshit bruh)

-Spent two consecutive weeks in California at Legoland, Seaworld and Disneyland with his family..

-Saw Spiderman alone on a Saturday afternoon, and didn’t invite me even though he knew I was free. (Am I crazy? orrrr…..?)

-Saw him on multiple different dating sites with a different name, age, and pictures I’ve never seen before. When confronted he denied it and said someone was being a catfish. (FISHY AF amirite ladies)

-Absolutely no social media other than Snapchat; it took 3 times for me asking for his snap code until I finally said I don’t trust that you are who you say you are and THEN he finally surrendered his username. Which was a made up username and didn’t give me any info on his legal name.


So I had my friend Maddie aggressively try to find and match with him on Tinder. Welp. She found him as STEVE and she started finessing the frick out of him. Immediately, he was eager to meet up with her. So me calm, cool, and collected let him know that he was a big piece of trash and to lose my number. THEN, Maddie called him out for being a piece of trash. He claimed that he wasn’t “interested” in me anymore yet I had literally 2 unopened snaps from him at that exact moment from that day, in addition, he snapped me everyday for 2 two months AFTER this incident; with no reply from me ever!

You win some you lose most.